Sunday, May 30, 2010

A note about cards

Today my grandma gave me a card that just said "Crap." on the inside. No joke. She didn't write it, the card had it written on there by the company. There was $20 inside, though, so that made up for it. My birthday was 2 months ago.

Blogs remind of that Julie & Julia movie. I hate that movie.

Root beer.

Quote #2

"I'd prefer insanity. Chaos is my niche because when nothing makes sense, everything does." -Me

Go figure.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

A note about names

I think if my first name was Carl, possibly Karl, then my last name would have to be Duikler. It's pronounced dike - ler.


Friday, May 28, 2010

A note about boobs

Quality > Quantity

'Nuff said.

Good day

So I walk into work today and I meet this new woman we hired. Paying her no mind, I went to help another woman in the kitchen with whatever she needed as all the kids were tended to already. I walk in and immediately she starts telling me about how she's sick of being poor and living paycheck to paycheck and all this stuff. If you wanted to grow up and not be poor, maybe PARTYING AND SMOKING POT ALL THE TIME AND THEN HAVING THREE KIDS INSTEAD OF GOING TO COLLEGE AND GETTING AN EDUCATION was a poor 4 year plan, yeah? Sorry for being harsh but when I looked at those "Tips for Success!" posters posted around my elementary school, I don't remember seeing "Reading, Getting Your Work Done, Smoking the Bagooshky," on them.

Anyways, after being regaled by that wonderful story, she then proceeded to tell me about this movie on conspiracies that was supposed to BLOW MY MIND and OPEN MY EYES, because apparently me being 19 means I'm completely impressionable (i.e. dumb as a sack of doorknobs) and that I have no idea about what REALLY happens in the government. Obviously, because a video said it, it MUST be true. Pearl Harbor was quite obviously staged and OF COURSE the Bush family caused the stock market crash back in the 1920's on purpose. I mean, I'd probably believe all of that except for the little flaw those both have in common, being that NONE OF THAT HOLDS ANY WATER, HAS ANY CREDIBLE EVIDENCE, OR MAKES ANY GOD DAMN SENSE. I am surprised daily by the amount of crap you can jam down ignorant people's throats.

Entertaining as that was, I decided to go help someone else out with whatever they needed. As I walked by my boss' office, she yanked me in and closed the door. While fighting back howling laughter and tears, she proceeds to tell me that the new woman (the one who's 28, has two kids and a tramp stamp) thinks I'm SUPER HOT. Oh god, this is going to be a loooong summer.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Shit people do while driving that I hate

Sooo I'm driving out of my town and there's a long stretch of straight road where it picks up to 45 mph before it hits the highway and increases to 55 mph. People use this road to gain speed and transition smoothly into the 55+ mph highway. I was nearing the final stoplight before this long stretch and there was already a minivan parked at the red. It turned green as I approached so I continued increasing in speed thinking I'd pass the van anyways and not have to worry about being stuck behind a slow person on the highway. Well what'yaknow, this person peeeeeeels out of the red light and stays ahead of me the entire time. Keep in mind that I was going 49 in this 45 zone. Alright, I give up. I'll let the van go and they'll be damn fast on the highway since they're in such a rush here, right? Nnnnope. They hit the highway and keep that 53 mph they had on the straight-a-way for the ENTIRE TIME. I'm on the high for a long time before I get to my road because I live so far out in the country. I hate you people.

Another thing I hate? People who switch lanes on the highway and don't signal. What, am I expected to know when your exalted ass is switching over and I have to move? Sorry to tell you but I've news for you: your shit does stank. You're not the only person on the highway.

Lastly, though this one doesn't suck as much, I hate it when people stay in that right turn lane that also HAPPENS to connect to the on-ramp for the highway. I stay in a normal "go straight" lane and then signal and switch over to get on the ramp. You people force me to peel out of the light or slam on the brakes to get into that lane to get on the ramp. No, I won't just give in and join you in that lane. That lane was invented to turn right. It continues because people coming OFF the ride you're SUPPOSED to be turning ONTO can then use it to get on the ramp or switch into traffic because they have a yield sign and not the light itself. It would be awkward to just stick a hunk of grass in that cement part you're not supposed to use so they put road there.